Belief...

At last, light night I went for a run and I finally felt like I could run again! Since the marathon, going running has not been a big feature in my exercise routine; for one I had problems with my knee and secondly, after a few weeks of not running I totally lost my confidence and didn't think I could do it! How stupid is that?

Yesterday, for some reason...when I got through the tedious initial 30 minutes (normally thinking of a million others things I could be doing rather than pounding the streets in the cold wind) I felt as though I was in my running zone again. It was fantastic, that feeling of no pain, just a rythm, settling into the pace of the music and emptying my head of thoughts and achieving the sense of just 'being'. That all sounds a bit crazy, but for those who have been in the 'zone' you will get it!

So, back to the point I was trying to make...I don't think I had lost the ability to run since the marathon, but simply the belief in my ability to run. Now, when thinking about this in other aspects of life (the usual overthinking I go through when something profound has happened) this seems to be a common trait of mine.

If I don't play tennis for a few weeks/months, I suddenly feel panicky that I can no longer play. If I present at work and then have a break for a few months, I get that same panicky feeling that I am no longer capable, as though someone has removed the knowledge from my brain.

So, I am wondering...is this a common human issue or is this a me issue?? In order to solve the problem I need to continue doing things regularly enough for me to believe in myself - the upside of which is that when I do things that often I get mega over confident and told I am arrogant! Sometimes it seems you can never win!