Thursday, 5 November 2009

Hobbies and passions...

What makes us tick? What makes me tick? I am not entirely sure to be honest, I kind of have an idea, but nothing concrete. It has to be work, work where I feel I am making a difference or discovering something new, again based on making a difference - anything else feels a waste and becomes repetitive and boring.

I am envious of people who have a passion outside of work; people who work to live. I don't think that I live to work, but I do get so much out of doing a good job and learning, that without 'work' I struggle to be motivated and enthused. Currently, work is quiet, I am on top of my role and having success, but I feel desperately bored and have pangs of guilt that I am not doing enough.

I need life to be full, busy busy busy, meetings, social events, sport, holidays...I need the day to be filled with activities, people and variation. Working from home is killing me, nothing to get up for, drinking copious amounts of tea and 'loose women' droning on the TV in the background - I can't handle it. At the same time, I can't do anything other than work from home, as the guilt involved with doing something not associated with work when I should be working makes for a not particularly enjoyable, guilt ridden day!

I seem to be in the minority with this feeling, as most colleagues and friends think it would be great to have no work to do - I just don't get it! Don't get me wrong, I like down time and chilling out, but only when I feel like I have done enough work to deserve it!

I know I am doing well and it is only a matter of time before I progress further, regardless of company or role, but back to my point of 'waiting', it is so frustrating not having control of the pace that you wish to progress at, seriously!

At school and at college, you are encouraged to work hard and you can take on work above and beyond the norm, as it all about learning and growing. You would think the working world would offer the same kind of ethos, but in reality, it seems that people do not want to encourage growth - is this because it is unusual for people to make this demand or is it more about keeping the workforce doing and not thinking?!?!

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