Life...it's a funny one!

One throw away comment can send your mind into turmoil; a touchy subject that leads to doubt followed by a relentless avalanche of emotion. Why do we question ourselves when life is going well, yet seem to continue putting up with rubbish when life is clearly not so good? I have been so caught up with the negativity of recent events, combined with the need to reach my destination without enjoying the journey, that it appears to be a natural state in which to live - enough already!

Time to start putting the positivity back out there and start living in the here and now; the last 10 days of sunshine, friends, drinks, bbq's and general randomness have been like a dose of medicine, a much needed one. It's funny how your emotional state can cause such physical responses; obvious when it comes to food and sex, but unassuming and deadly on the more subtle issues around self-esteem and self-worth.

I have learnt to appreciate that experiences in the past do, for the most part, shape your attitude towards life as an adult. Annoyingly, however hard you try to overcome certain mental hurdles and boundaries, some deep set traits firmly remain. On the upside, the state of mind is formed primarily by genes and then experiences, but is maintained by habit; patterns of thought that we can control on a day to day basis.

So, it seems that life is an ongoing battle between managing your expectations whilst striving for more. For me, the 'more' will now become the richness of things that money cannot buy and the 'expectations' will be enjoying each moment to the full without a thought for planning the next one. I don't want to get old and be left with a diary full of great plans, a cellar full of fine wines and a facebook page full of unlived friendships and relationships.

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest - Confucius