What is the journey of life about; learning, experiencing, understanding yourself or simply growing into your own self. The latter for me it seems, as I finally feel comfortable in my own skin - the first thirty years have been a struggle to fit in, do the right thing, feel the right thing, say the right thing.
I always feel as though I have been who I am now, but trapped in my youth, which sounds strange I know....but I wonder if other people feel this way? Perhaps everyone hits a stage where they feel most content in themselves and then associates this with an age or period in their life or maybe people embrace the ever changing age and stage and think nothing of it?!
Either way, I am questioning the purpose of the journey daily; where I have come from and where I am going. Just when you feel sure about what you want from the future, the dynamic of a relationship or situation changes and then your plans and dreams are thrown into the wind; swirled about and scattered liberally!
Ultimately, living for the day seems to be the most painless option, as no plan means no disappointment. I am not convinced that living a dream free life is one I am able to indulge in, but sometimes I can see the appeal.
'With the moon I run, far from the carnage of the firey sun, driven by the strangle of veins showing me no mercy, I'd do it again.'
Sunday, 4 April 2010
Thursday, 18 March 2010
Resolution...
Resolution takes time, patience and acceptance of actions and emotions out of our control. Time can be days, weeks, months and sometimes years; even then, there is no guarantee of an agreeable outcome. Emotions often blind our ability to see a situation for what it is; hope can also stunt our ability to move forwards.
I find it fascinating that emotions, these things you cannot see or touch create such a physical reaction and cause such physical responses. It seems that life is a cycle of emotions; an eternal rollercoaster with no stops, just highs and lows and twists and turns and the occaisional 'jerk' which sometimes acts as a wake up call, a moment of realisation, slots a piece in the puzzle; then the rollercoaster starts all over again. On experiencing a 'jerk', do we act upon the moment and resolve the related issue or acknowledge the reminder and keep it alive but buried.
As I get older, I have started to filter through the people in my life and work out what matters; who and why. The number of people that matter reduces, our investment is greater and more focussed and the emotions involved are stronger and deeper - as a result, the need for answers, pieces of the puzzle and therefore resolution is amplified.
Life is lived forwards, but best understood backwards - where timing of the ride seems to be the cause of most joy and most pain.
I find it fascinating that emotions, these things you cannot see or touch create such a physical reaction and cause such physical responses. It seems that life is a cycle of emotions; an eternal rollercoaster with no stops, just highs and lows and twists and turns and the occaisional 'jerk' which sometimes acts as a wake up call, a moment of realisation, slots a piece in the puzzle; then the rollercoaster starts all over again. On experiencing a 'jerk', do we act upon the moment and resolve the related issue or acknowledge the reminder and keep it alive but buried.
As I get older, I have started to filter through the people in my life and work out what matters; who and why. The number of people that matter reduces, our investment is greater and more focussed and the emotions involved are stronger and deeper - as a result, the need for answers, pieces of the puzzle and therefore resolution is amplified.
Life is lived forwards, but best understood backwards - where timing of the ride seems to be the cause of most joy and most pain.
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