Life is a tricky business, so many emotions and so many thoughts and aspirations about what life should be about, makes you wonder how people ever decide something and stick to it. The future is a scary subject, with so many variables and uncertainties...do we just roll along and wait for it to unravel before us or do we make a plan and strive to achieve it?
I wonder if we are born programmed to do one or the other, or do people influence our decisions to go one way or another...or are there more than two options or do we flit between the two throughout life?? See...lots to consider - either way it means that nothing is for certain and nothing lasts forever, which makes me sad.
Life is about growing for me, learning each day, tough times making you stronger and good times giving you confidence and strength to keep pushing the boundaries - ideals you share, but sometimes things just don't work out that way. I understand that and respect that, but it is not easy when you have to walk away from something that you have invested your energy and emotion into, especially when so much good remains.
Do you settle for 90% of everything or keep going until you find everything? I guess this is what we are going to find out, perhaps the hard way, as there is no easy way to go when you crave different things. However, regardless of the hard times to come, the good stuff remains, always and can never be undone or forgotten as it fundamentally makes us who we are... we must be brave and stay true to ourselves.
"One ceases to recognize the significance of mountain peaks if they are not viewed occasionally from the deepest valleys."
Sunday 15 November 2009
Friday 6 November 2009
What's on your mind?
Alas, I have succumbed to facebook...I have reinstated my account and already I am feeling drawn to the damn social networking sight! I am on a one week trial, due to peer pressure from a certain buddy, but if it starts doing my head in after one week then I am quitting again!
This time round I have been more selective with my 'friends'; last time it was a competition to see how many friends you could notch up - on reflection, I only spoke or wanted to speak with a handful of these people, so there has been a culling, quite a severe one!! So, if you are reading this via the gift of facebook, think yourself lucky that you survived the masacre!
Whilst the 'what's on your mind?' and constant drivel does drive me nuts, there is something quite nice about being readily in contact with the people you like to call friends and seeing the odd funny comment/photo puts a smile on my face. Damn, sounding like I am enjoying being back on the matrix....we will see!
The one downside is now that I have decided to let the blog loose, I shall have to be super careful when vetting the content to ensure it does not include any dodgy comments about past, present and potential future company...not that I am one for that sort of thing anyway...well, the odd funny line but nothing horrible...hey ho, it is all good fun and meant with the utmost sincerity, so no harm done...yet
My thought for the day is...'some of us are Roman and some of us are Greek' - which one are you?
This time round I have been more selective with my 'friends'; last time it was a competition to see how many friends you could notch up - on reflection, I only spoke or wanted to speak with a handful of these people, so there has been a culling, quite a severe one!! So, if you are reading this via the gift of facebook, think yourself lucky that you survived the masacre!
Whilst the 'what's on your mind?' and constant drivel does drive me nuts, there is something quite nice about being readily in contact with the people you like to call friends and seeing the odd funny comment/photo puts a smile on my face. Damn, sounding like I am enjoying being back on the matrix....we will see!
The one downside is now that I have decided to let the blog loose, I shall have to be super careful when vetting the content to ensure it does not include any dodgy comments about past, present and potential future company...not that I am one for that sort of thing anyway...well, the odd funny line but nothing horrible...hey ho, it is all good fun and meant with the utmost sincerity, so no harm done...yet
My thought for the day is...'some of us are Roman and some of us are Greek' - which one are you?
Thursday 5 November 2009
Hobbies and passions...
What makes us tick? What makes me tick? I am not entirely sure to be honest, I kind of have an idea, but nothing concrete. It has to be work, work where I feel I am making a difference or discovering something new, again based on making a difference - anything else feels a waste and becomes repetitive and boring.
I am envious of people who have a passion outside of work; people who work to live. I don't think that I live to work, but I do get so much out of doing a good job and learning, that without 'work' I struggle to be motivated and enthused. Currently, work is quiet, I am on top of my role and having success, but I feel desperately bored and have pangs of guilt that I am not doing enough.
I need life to be full, busy busy busy, meetings, social events, sport, holidays...I need the day to be filled with activities, people and variation. Working from home is killing me, nothing to get up for, drinking copious amounts of tea and 'loose women' droning on the TV in the background - I can't handle it. At the same time, I can't do anything other than work from home, as the guilt involved with doing something not associated with work when I should be working makes for a not particularly enjoyable, guilt ridden day!
I seem to be in the minority with this feeling, as most colleagues and friends think it would be great to have no work to do - I just don't get it! Don't get me wrong, I like down time and chilling out, but only when I feel like I have done enough work to deserve it!
I know I am doing well and it is only a matter of time before I progress further, regardless of company or role, but back to my point of 'waiting', it is so frustrating not having control of the pace that you wish to progress at, seriously!
At school and at college, you are encouraged to work hard and you can take on work above and beyond the norm, as it all about learning and growing. You would think the working world would offer the same kind of ethos, but in reality, it seems that people do not want to encourage growth - is this because it is unusual for people to make this demand or is it more about keeping the workforce doing and not thinking?!?!
I am envious of people who have a passion outside of work; people who work to live. I don't think that I live to work, but I do get so much out of doing a good job and learning, that without 'work' I struggle to be motivated and enthused. Currently, work is quiet, I am on top of my role and having success, but I feel desperately bored and have pangs of guilt that I am not doing enough.
I need life to be full, busy busy busy, meetings, social events, sport, holidays...I need the day to be filled with activities, people and variation. Working from home is killing me, nothing to get up for, drinking copious amounts of tea and 'loose women' droning on the TV in the background - I can't handle it. At the same time, I can't do anything other than work from home, as the guilt involved with doing something not associated with work when I should be working makes for a not particularly enjoyable, guilt ridden day!
I seem to be in the minority with this feeling, as most colleagues and friends think it would be great to have no work to do - I just don't get it! Don't get me wrong, I like down time and chilling out, but only when I feel like I have done enough work to deserve it!
I know I am doing well and it is only a matter of time before I progress further, regardless of company or role, but back to my point of 'waiting', it is so frustrating not having control of the pace that you wish to progress at, seriously!
At school and at college, you are encouraged to work hard and you can take on work above and beyond the norm, as it all about learning and growing. You would think the working world would offer the same kind of ethos, but in reality, it seems that people do not want to encourage growth - is this because it is unusual for people to make this demand or is it more about keeping the workforce doing and not thinking?!?!
Sunday 1 November 2009
Always bet on black...
Well, so much for a quiet weekend, which was the plan on Friday afternoon after a particularly busy week. Friday night was going to be a quiet drink and a chat with some friends, but ended up as a wine fuelled 'singstar' marathon until 2.30am!
I love that game and now realise that I missed my vocation in life - although I think I sound better through my ears than I do everyone elses. That aside I just couldn't get enough of it, ABBA, Queen, Scissor Sisters...I even knocked out a bit of Dizzee Rascal, Dance Wiv Me - classic!
So, after a heavy one, Saturday was sure to be a quiet affair, lay in, lazy day etc...ended up down the pub watching the footy followed by a trip to the casino! It was so much fun and I even won some money - not as I expected it to be, but I would definately go again.
It was a lot plusher than I had expected, as in previous weeks I had turned down an invitation to the casino thinking it would be full of seedy, dodgy old characters. To my surprise the venue was lovely, the toilets immaculate, the bar service swift and the cliental normal, well relatively! Although, there were a few disturbing sights; Asian men spending a lot of money on what seemed like a whim and a few desperate men spending more time at the cashpoint than at the table!
I stood back for the first half an hour and watched - looking for tricks or clues, patterns and tactics - there were none, just people thinking they had it sorted. Of course, there are no tactics with gambling as it is completely luck based, however, there did seem to be a need to have some sort of 'plan'. I went in with £20 and knew that was it - a few pounds to have some fun and once it had gone it had gone - no cash point visits for me!
So, roulette first - lots of fun and so random. The guy explained the rules and the odds and gave us each a little card with all the information on. I attempted to follow the trajectory of the ball as it spun, just like Derran Brown, but had no luck with this, as my James Bond skills are obviously not as honed as I thought!
£10 down, £10 left...onto Blackjack - well, this was a different story, as you could try and use a bit of common sense with the numbers in this game. This worked well for me and after twenty or thrity goes, I ended up with £30 - nice! It was then I decided to stop, as the urges from the little devil on my shoulder were starting to bother me...literally, after every bet I won, the little voice would say 'look how easy it was to win, do it again, you will win again, it is easy money, easy'. For a few brief moments I wanted to go along with it and could start to see why gambling is such a dangerous habit!
Everyone had fun and 2 of us left winners, 2 broke even and 2 lost - the odds speak for themselves really - gambling is a mugs game, but the odd visit to the casino with one £20 note for a few hours of fun is a good crack! Finally, just before we left, it was decided that the group would stump up £10 each and we would place a large bet on BLACK at the roulette wheel...as I won, I was 'lucky' apparently, so I had to place the bet!
Quids in, doubled our money and left with a large smile knowing dinner was paid for as to was the whole day given I went home with more money that I left home with that day...so, 'always bet on black' is a tactic I plan to follow next time round, not that I plan to make a habit of it!
I love that game and now realise that I missed my vocation in life - although I think I sound better through my ears than I do everyone elses. That aside I just couldn't get enough of it, ABBA, Queen, Scissor Sisters...I even knocked out a bit of Dizzee Rascal, Dance Wiv Me - classic!
So, after a heavy one, Saturday was sure to be a quiet affair, lay in, lazy day etc...ended up down the pub watching the footy followed by a trip to the casino! It was so much fun and I even won some money - not as I expected it to be, but I would definately go again.
It was a lot plusher than I had expected, as in previous weeks I had turned down an invitation to the casino thinking it would be full of seedy, dodgy old characters. To my surprise the venue was lovely, the toilets immaculate, the bar service swift and the cliental normal, well relatively! Although, there were a few disturbing sights; Asian men spending a lot of money on what seemed like a whim and a few desperate men spending more time at the cashpoint than at the table!
I stood back for the first half an hour and watched - looking for tricks or clues, patterns and tactics - there were none, just people thinking they had it sorted. Of course, there are no tactics with gambling as it is completely luck based, however, there did seem to be a need to have some sort of 'plan'. I went in with £20 and knew that was it - a few pounds to have some fun and once it had gone it had gone - no cash point visits for me!
So, roulette first - lots of fun and so random. The guy explained the rules and the odds and gave us each a little card with all the information on. I attempted to follow the trajectory of the ball as it spun, just like Derran Brown, but had no luck with this, as my James Bond skills are obviously not as honed as I thought!
£10 down, £10 left...onto Blackjack - well, this was a different story, as you could try and use a bit of common sense with the numbers in this game. This worked well for me and after twenty or thrity goes, I ended up with £30 - nice! It was then I decided to stop, as the urges from the little devil on my shoulder were starting to bother me...literally, after every bet I won, the little voice would say 'look how easy it was to win, do it again, you will win again, it is easy money, easy'. For a few brief moments I wanted to go along with it and could start to see why gambling is such a dangerous habit!
Everyone had fun and 2 of us left winners, 2 broke even and 2 lost - the odds speak for themselves really - gambling is a mugs game, but the odd visit to the casino with one £20 note for a few hours of fun is a good crack! Finally, just before we left, it was decided that the group would stump up £10 each and we would place a large bet on BLACK at the roulette wheel...as I won, I was 'lucky' apparently, so I had to place the bet!
Quids in, doubled our money and left with a large smile knowing dinner was paid for as to was the whole day given I went home with more money that I left home with that day...so, 'always bet on black' is a tactic I plan to follow next time round, not that I plan to make a habit of it!
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