That 'super hero' feeling...

People are so different and their wants and needs vary dramatically...that said, everyone wants to be happy and feel good.

It sounds obvious and it is, but the way in which we consume products and activities and gear our lifestyle around social pressures, how we 'feel' gets lost. In fact, more time is spent on how we make other people feel, which directly impacts on our own behaviour.

In my job and ultimate quest to increase sports participation, I am bombarded by facts, figures and stats; drivers, motivators, and profiles....all aimed to provide the perfect solution to get people wanting to play sport. The list of packaged up, branded 'offers' is endless and I am not surprised that people don't engage in sport as the message is all about getting fitter, losing weight, toning up....but nothing addresses how sport makes you feel?!

After listening to a novice talk about their running journey today - sofa to half marathon in four months, I have learnt that I have been massively underselling the 'feel good factor' of sport. I guess being involved in sport from a young age makes the purpose and the associated feelings pretty intrinsic; that euphoric high is a given.

So, no more 'its good for you message' - from now on I am all about promoting the feeling associated with doing sport. After any kind of sport or exercise, you know that the pleasant burning sensation in your legs, the ache in your arms and the fire in your chest was worth it for the 'superhero' feelings you have inside; walking round Tesco in your lycra after a workout is all part of the fun!

'Pain is weakness leaving the body' - Anon

Keep on running...

Triathlon is currently the fastest growing sport in this country....seems to be attracting an older market too, I am wondering why? Hours of pounding the streets at the crack of dawn in an attempt to get your body used to doing ridiculous amounts of activity...

I see all of these runners and cyclists with expressions of sheer determination and pain....no one looks like they are enjoying it, but the commitment oozes out of them quicker than the blood, sweat and tears seeps into their lycra! Given that I have started to actually enjoy 'regular' running - using enjoy loosely - as in seeing the benefits of running every few days and noticing the impact it has on my mood....it makes me think why?? Endorphins aside, are we running and pushing through as we are committed to improve ourselves or have we suddenly stumbled upon a neat way to escape the daily mind grind?

Running to complete the challenge, beat the time, win the prize or running to escape everything that traps us in our existing life... There is something very therapeutic about putting one foot in front of the other and entering that mental vacuum where thoughts are suspended and time freezes....similar to driving; whilst you are on the road you are physically going somewhere but mentally going nowhere - bliss!

I always loved running... it was something you could do by yourself, and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs - Jesse Owens

Iron Maiden baby...

After spending his life keeping fit with football and squash, combined with more recent attempts to do this at home with a treadmill, home gym thing and 'perfect press up' machine...my dad has bitten the bullet and joined a gym. This was news to me, as a somewhat hectic life has meant large time spans between visits home, so a lot tends to happen in my absence; gym joining being one of them!

So, rather than go for a leisurely jog round the block, I find myself tagging along to this local gym, excited about what was in store! A large warehouse jam packed with enough steel and free weights to sink a ship and lots of men....yep, that was pretty much the view on arrival. Don't get me wrong, this was my kinda gym, no frills, no faddy machines that are so efficient you don't actually do any exercise when using them and best of all, no gym bunnies! Just steel, a few bits of CV kit (clearly hidden in a back room for the elderly and big girls like me) and lots and lots of men - most of whom had the torso of Vin Diesel and the legs of Frankie Detorri!

Dad went about his mini action man programme - glad he is keeping it real and with it his body proportions and I hit the girly treadmill - good times! At the end of my solitary workout (not sure it was the CV kit or me acting as a man repellent?!)...I picked up the smallest free weights I could find and then proceeded to bust out some moves, trying not to show any signs of straining and avoiding muscle tear at the same time - I could have done smaller weights but refused to pick up the pink girly dumb bells from the box labelled 'WOMEN'!

Within 60 minutes it was all over...and what a fantastic experience it was; no gym bunnies, no fluffy machines and to top it off, I had the biggest leg muscles in the whole building...self-esteem through the roof! I vote for more gyms like this! Never again will I step back into the domain of the gym bunny - no more outfit judgement, no more panicking about sweat levels, no more feeling manly for actually wanting to use free weights! Metal, muscle and lots of men - the perfect combination for a happy workout!

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down!' - Rita Rudner

Paying it forwards...

There really is something about that simple statement. I have been making a conscious effort to remain positive and always try and see the good in a situation or person of late; easier said than done at times, but certainly doable and on the whole extremely worthwhile.

It seems that life has become much more of an isolated activity, with the emphasis very much upon individual ambition, status and all things materialistic. This combined with our ongoing need to become more efficient and more effective; life is more about the business cycle than about social 'living' cycle.

I appreciate that life evolves and things progress, dragging along us mere mortals with it, but surely the point of evolving and becoming more proficient was aimed at providing a better quality of life? Technology has allowed us to carry out complex and lengthy tasks with minimal effort and resource, but to what avail? Does it allow us more time to focus on living life or simply produce more work as a result of such speedy progress?

I vote we return to pigeon post or possibly a combination of old sentiment and new technology, as the quality of life would be certain to improve. Knowing that a letter would take days, often weeks to arrive at it's destination would mean that more time would be spent ensuring the content was suitable and indeed correct, which would cut out the trail of arse covering panic of IM, SMS, BBM and MSN that seems to clog up our inbox each and every morning! Can we not simply take more time to write the email before we zap it into the ether?

So, the plan is to take a little more time on what really counts; considering others that really need help, being kind to others and ourselves in the process and kick start the idea of paying it forwards. I am all for being more efficient but not to the detriment of the life experience; work, rest and play.

Short term pain for long term gain - Abbie Lench

A whole lot of growing going on...

There are so many kinds of friends; best friends, fair weather friends, let's get wasted friends, I need tickets friends, tea and sympathy friends, not seen you in years but nothing has changed friends and so the list goes on. Sometimes I question my friendships; who I choose, why I choose them, how we crossed paths in the first instance and what efforts I make to retain these bonds. I have been very fortunate to cross paths with so many awesome people, several of which are now very close friends, whilst others fall into some of the categories already mentioned. That said, all of these connections are meaningful jigsaw pieces, that may change shape over time, but always seem to complete my puzzle.

I love connections, the obvious ones are always fun, as too are the more subtle, less frantic 'slow-burners'. I especially like it when you learn something new about yourself, whereby someone exposes another side of you that you weren't sure existed! I guess I am just trying to figure out if this is a sign of being more open to exposing your existing layers or that you simply grow more layers as a result of these new experiences? Or maybe it's both; we grow inside and outside simultaneously, with each of life's twists and turns. Whatever it is, it seems to be happening more and more, with friends old and new, past and present.

In my experience, the key to a good friendship is balance and ensuring that expectations are understood and managed even if they are not mutual! That said, nearly all of my connections have been through some sort of test or trauma; love issues, clash of moral code, opposing political views, changing jobs, moving countries etc...which makes me wonder, does friendship need to have been through the mill in order to survive and be long lasting or is it just that life happens, so ups and downs are par for the course?! Even writing this makes me think about the people I surround myself with and the journey's I have shared; I have certainly done some serious mileage!

It's exciting to know that there is so much more to learn and experience; in terms of getting out there and trying new things as well as opening up the bonnet and reflecting on your own personal adventure. I am still bobbling along in my 'mind buggy', but I have upgraded to the convertible model and the learner plates have gone from red to green. It's best to make people aware that whilst I am open to new concepts and prepared to occasionally off-road it, I still stall every now and then and get lost when the SatNav decides to re-calculate!

Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, we are happy when we are growing - William Butler Yeats

Are you sitting comfortably?...then I'll begin!

Powerpoint presentations; the person speaking has all the 'power' and the poor buggers watching don't see the 'point' - well that's my take on the origin of the name! This week has been rammed full of presentations, handouts and feedback; excited...not much!

On a daily basis we talk to a huge number of people about a vast spectrum of topics. We manage this with ease, often whilst typing an email, replying to a text or having lunch, usually coupled with a whole other stream of unconscious thoughts racing through our minds. So, given our ability to juggle all these conversations and thoughts, why is it, when asked to carry out the same simple task in front of a room full of people, does 'talking' become such a different animal?

The task is exactly the same, as you are talking and they are listening; only when in a presenting environment, the audience don't have the option of talking back, making their excuses to go to another meeting or just politely changing the subject mid conversation....these differences combined, change the dynamic and immediately cause a massive amount of stress for the person speaking and the people listening?! Odd when you think about it, as it should be less stressful than talking to someone in the usual conversational sense, knowing that they COULD interrupt at anytime, walk off to another meeting or stop you mid flow to talk about the weather?!

So, what happens?? There are more people, therefore more agendas to manage and of course 'time' happens....S...L...O...W...time; the natural interruptions within dialogue are replaced with the awkward and terribly long silences of monologue. I think that life works best when it is a two way stream; give and take, push and pull, dialogue not monologue. One way systems always seem to stifle creativity and cause blockages and long winded journeys...you only have to drive around most big cities to figure that one out!

It's already become a bit much and we haven't even mentioned handout trauma; is there enough handouts, how will I get them distributed in the most efficient fashion, when is the best time to handout the handouts (not too early as they won't listen, but soon enough to stop them nodding off) - in fact, with most handouts situations, people perk up regardless of what is written on the piece of paper you force them to take and pass round, as they are too busy figuring out the purpose of the handout and the best way to distribute these themselves!

And so to the audience, an environment that we have not been familiar with since school, where we all had the same panic about reading in front of the class or being asked a question when you weren't paying attention and gazing out of the window. The bottom line is, whether you were the geeky kid who was desperate to say something smart, the class fool who had the knack of saying the dumbest thing at the worst/best time or the shy retiring type who needed to remain intently focused just in case they were forced to string a sentence together....we all feel it, the pressure of being in front of our peers and wanting to be accepted.

I suppose the thing to remember is that we are all just as fearful of these awkward situations as the next person, whether you are the keynote speaker or the petrified audience, always on high alert in case you are asked to share or feedback. We all know that powerpoint presentations will continue to be 'point'less and delivered by those craving the power and to an extent, someone has to lead and information has to be distributed...so, in order to survive your next ordeal, best to decide which role you played in the classroom and then take to the stage accordingly! Note: If you are the shy, retiring, non speaking type, look engaged but avoid eye contact at all times!

There are certain things in which mediocrity is not to be endured, such as poetry, music, painting and public speaking - Jean de la Bruyere

Life...it's a funny one!

One throw away comment can send your mind into turmoil; a touchy subject that leads to doubt followed by a relentless avalanche of emotion. Why do we question ourselves when life is going well, yet seem to continue putting up with rubbish when life is clearly not so good? I have been so caught up with the negativity of recent events, combined with the need to reach my destination without enjoying the journey, that it appears to be a natural state in which to live - enough already!

Time to start putting the positivity back out there and start living in the here and now; the last 10 days of sunshine, friends, drinks, bbq's and general randomness have been like a dose of medicine, a much needed one. It's funny how your emotional state can cause such physical responses; obvious when it comes to food and sex, but unassuming and deadly on the more subtle issues around self-esteem and self-worth.

I have learnt to appreciate that experiences in the past do, for the most part, shape your attitude towards life as an adult. Annoyingly, however hard you try to overcome certain mental hurdles and boundaries, some deep set traits firmly remain. On the upside, the state of mind is formed primarily by genes and then experiences, but is maintained by habit; patterns of thought that we can control on a day to day basis.

So, it seems that life is an ongoing battle between managing your expectations whilst striving for more. For me, the 'more' will now become the richness of things that money cannot buy and the 'expectations' will be enjoying each moment to the full without a thought for planning the next one. I don't want to get old and be left with a diary full of great plans, a cellar full of fine wines and a facebook page full of unlived friendships and relationships.

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest - Confucius

La Merde Machine...

It seems that the lesson never ends and the learning never stops; life has the ability to throw up a new problem to solve just when you think you have learnt enough. You get to the stage where you have dealt with everything, or at least started to accept the things you cannot deal with or change, and then, as if by magic, the universe presents an even greater challenge. I almost feel as though I get more sh** as a result of dealing with my existing sh** - a bit like school, when you finished your work before everyone else, the teacher would give you more!

As an efficient sh** dealer, I am doomed to receive more sh** in the post as it were; on processing this next batch, I will be enclosing a letter to the provider of all things that are sh** asking them to remove me from their mailing list, as well as unsubscribe me from the e-sh**news! But in all honestly, how do you continue to motivate yourself, when you know that the moment you become aware of being in a good place again, it is almost guaranteed to be followed by some sort of trauma.

I can see why people shut down emotionally; sometimes it is too damn painful and once bitten, twice shy certainly rings true. The problem I have, which is probably a gene inherited from my parents, as no member of my family has ever been divorced, is that I believe in the whole commitment thing and all that comes with it. It has taken me 32 years to finally admit that, but what the hell...better late than never or is it never late is better?!

So, with this belief firmly built into the genes, the chances of shutting down the very organ that fields all decisions is not an option. Wall building is not really an option either, as I am more about knocking them down than building them up - with permission of course!

So...acceptance is the word that I am struggling with right now; I may be a little spoilt, I may be used to getting what I want, I may be on the receiving end of what I normally inflict. Does accepting mean giving up or is it the word you use to cope and move forwards. I understand the theory, but petrified of the practice, as a severed tie cannot be mended...or can it?

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. - Rumi

The Breakfast Test...

What is it about a buffet that turns people into primitive scavengers? The laws of social etiquette are broken and the red mist comes down; no manners, total disregard for personal hygiene and a complete lack of awareness of personal space. On reflection, that last thing about personal space may be linked to the 'queuing' gene, something all Germans and Spaniards are born without...did their mothers forget to take folic acid or something?!?!

So, whilst the holiday buffet trauma has been inflicted each morning and evening, it has given me a great deal of pleasure in terms of people watching. People are strange, really strange...I know I sound harsh, but at what point is it ok to cough without covering your mouth, push in front of someone, not hold a door open, stink of sweat in a public restaurant, go topless when you have more wrinkles than a piece of crepe paper...do people lose their sense of awareness at a certain age, born without one or just generally not give a shit?!

We all let ourselves go at times, especially when on holiday, and of course with long term friends and loved ones who know and love us, faults and all, but there is relaxing and there is just disgusting!

Loads of couples sitting opposite one another, barely able to see over the mountains of food piled on from the eat for your life/death buffet, stuffing food down as though someone was going to take it away, occasionally coming up for liquid...embroiled in consuming as many calories as possible without breathing. I don't know why they bothered laying tables and chairs, it would have been just as easy to line up some troughs and be done with it!

So...is that what their first dinner date was like; trough central? I often wonder what the turning point in a relationship actually looks like? I used to think it was the 'wind/gas/fart/burp' thing, once you do that in front of someone, it breaks an unwritten rule...then before you know it, you are peeing, puking or worse in front of one another...next thing you know, you are troughing from the buffet! When in love, I guess some of these little faux pas are almost endearing...but over time, familiarity most certainly breeds contempt!

I recently heard that the true test of love is the breakfast test; are you prepared to sit opposite your other half over breakfast, each morning for the rest of your life...toast munching, crumb dropping, cereal gobbling, tea slurping, flem sniffing and any other habits that may appear first thing in the morning? If you already cringe when you hear a nasal sniff, perhaps its time to think about searching for a more suitable, long-term breakfast companion!

My own personal rule is to refrain from doing anything in front of anyone else that makes me cringe, which in my case is almost everything - if the people frequenting the breakfast room at this hotel are anything to go by, I will spending the rest of my life buttering toast for one!

Love is forever, as long as it lasts - Anon

Happiness is...

...a cigar called Hamlet? Well, perhaps not for all of us, but there is something about the little things. Happiness is different things to different people at different times. A beautiful sunrise, the smell of spring in the air, the feel of clean sheets...clean water, the safety of your home, enough food in the fridge...

These little things really do count when trying to see the brighter side of life and sometimes when I find myself looking for all the answers, it is the smallest day to day occurrences that help me put it all back into perspective; the sound of your loved ones laughing, Gaga at full volume on the radio, the blast of warmth from the car heater when it is minus 2 outside...

There is a fine line between planning your life away, securing the future and mapping out tomorrow before today has even started as oppose to being so laid back that you wondered what happened yesterday, missed most of today and have already forgotten what is happening tomorrow. Striking this balance appears to be an art; staying present, learning from the past whilst considering the future. Doing enough to have a brighter future without forgetting to enjoy the here and now is easier said than done.

It is also mind blowing to think that whilst one country deals with full blown civil war and another famine, other more fortunate countries have the pleasure of dealing with the pressures of premiership football and producing the next Wimbledon champion - bizare! We each have our own interpretations of happiness, the majority of which come in small packages and are more often than not free of charge. Today, I will strive to keep it real, have a break from soul searching and take advantage of nature’s freebies, even if the sirens go off and I am called out to deal with a tennis ball emergency!

'Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length' - Robert Frost

Speeding ticket for going nowhere...

Growing upwards and outwards, is all part of the fabric of life; just when you think you have reached the core of your onion, more layers reveal an even smaller, shinier little bulb! The twists and turns of this treacherous tapestry is all too much sometimes, but if we fail to push the boundaries then we fail to learn, if we fail to learn, we fail to grow...and isn't that what this whole experience is all about?!

We can all name significant milestones in our lives, moments of clarity where all of the puzzle pieces fit neatly together to form some sense. We can look back with consideration, with regret and even with relief as we begin to understand the actions and behaviours of ourselves and others. But, these are just 'moments' and we are unable to stay still for long; everyone is in a different place and travelling at different speeds to different destinations!

So, I guess life is all about handling your own hopes and fears and if that means being overtaken by a Ferrari whilst you search for fourth in your Morris Minor, remember that it is the journey that counts, not the final destination or indeed the speed at which you get there.

'Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still' - Chinese Proverb

Telly Addict...

I have been watching a lot of TV recently and when I say a lot, I mean a lot! If I had speed dial or family favourites on the Sky controller, Living TV would be at the top of the list, closely followed by Sky 1 and the all new Atlantic channel.

I have always enjoyed TV, more so as a way of switching off than as an educational experience, but some of the stuff on there is so good now, you can see why people don't bother leaving the house anymore. You can literally find hours of anything from the creepy darkness of profiling the 'un sub' in Criminal Minds to the toe tapping, hip wiggling campness of Glee.

The TV experience is not what it used to be; no longer a crappy week of dreary soaps with the odd murder mystery or three part drama thrown in to keep viewers interested. Now, the choice is incredible; detective shows, murder mysteries, serial killer profiling, medical dramas, documentaries on sex, drugs, aging, advice about looking younger, skinnier, camps for fatties, thinnies, druggies and you can watch it whenever you like....

Just when you think you have it all at the end of the controller, they introduce a stronger drug, something more powerful and more addictive...the BOX SET...it's like chasing the dragon...just one more episode, just one more disc, just one more series etc and before you know it, you haven't left the house for days and only got up to
eat, drink and pee!

I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life - Mitch Hedberg

...anybody present?

I always love sitting in coffee shops, hearing the buzz of conversation; a complete cross-section of peoples' lives served up on a plate next to your flat white. As I sipped mine and gazed out into the dreary day, I listened to the humming of daily gossip, couples droning on (the women that is - the men were looking out of the window like me) and the background noises from the coffee machine that sounds like a steam engine has just pulled in every time the milk gets frothed.

A middle aged couple were debating what to do with a senile mother-in-law, as she had a bottle of squash in her cupboard that had 'clearly not been shaken up since she brought it'. The husband sat there looking vacant and probably wondering, like me, if he had ever shaken a bottle of squash at regular intervals to avoid stagnation?!?! Moments later, he started nodding along with the wife; easier than debating the issue, which no doubt the woman would decide on anyhow. Sad really, as that women who seemed so eager to get the mother-in-law off her hands, would no doubt become that person in a few years!

The bottle blondes next to me were talking and hearing but neither were listening. You could tell that they were good friends and this was their small opportunity to vent and vent they did; a vast quantity of words were coming out, which made eaves dropping almost impossible! One bleated on about how wonderful her husband was (past tense), as he laid the table on Christmas Day without prompting, the other was banging on about how her husband was (past tense) on best behaviour over Christmas because his mother was round and why did that have to change when she left?!?

What both conversations made me realise, is that people tend to live in the past or the future but rarely ever the present. The wife was forcing the husband to make a decision and speed up the nursing home booking - based on a stagnant bottle of squash! The blondes, hanging on moments from the past, used to convince themselves that a little good behaviour and table making on Christmas Day makes up for the daily grind no doubt! It is like we spend all of our time considering and deciding what we believe we have or where we believe we should be, but not actually living and feeling in the here and now.

This is a tricky business, as I am currently trying to do it; engaging fully with the feelings and emotions of each day, as and when it arrives, not looking forwards and not looking back. It's like learning a new skill and you constantly have to remind yourself to stop reminiscing and dwelling as well as wishing your life away with planning.

Is this really how life should be? A constant state of flux, just being open to the full experience of what is in front of you at that very moment? I am not sure, but there is something very refreshing about that attitude or state when you manage to get in it; you can speak honestly without previous experiences clouding your judgement and act on instinct rather than how you feel is appropriate based on the before and after. This is a complete shift from the norm for me, but one I propose to keep working on as so far, every time I have managed it, I remember a lot more about that day and feel like I was the person living it!

'If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you're pissing all over the present.'- Dr. Frederick (Fritz) S. Perls