Growth...

This is a tough one. We all seem to be growing at different times and at different rates and in different directions, so how is it possible to maintain the dynamic of a relationship with anyone; friend or lover?

I think it is tough to comprehend ongoing change when you are a logical thinker. You work out what you like in someone when you look for a possible other half, then once you find it, you feel that you have solved that problem. Surely the next stage is to plan the way forwards, future developments, commitment, progress? Apparently not. There is no planning involved, no formula to follow, it is becoming more and more apparent that there are no guarantees, no happy ending as you are both always changing.

This totally goes against my philosophy in life; there is a 'one' out there for all of us. I think you are incredibly lucky if you ever get to meet that one, never mind hold onto them. Do you then settle for something less than 'epic love'? Who knows... I don't think I am alone in my romantic quest, I just think others seem happy to settle for something close to the mark knowing the chances of completeness are slim.

No doubt I will carry on regardless, as life does carry on regardless of what happens - people come in and out of our lives, people are born, people die, people fall in love and out of love, doesn't matter nothing stops, everything carries on around us.

It makes me realise just how insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things, which then makes me think, why do I bother worrying about all this stuff anyway...then I think life is too short, so go for it, then I think well, on reflection life isn't that short, so bide your time and don't settle and by the time I have done all that thinking, I hear of something truly awful; a stabbing, another bombing and then I feel selfish for even worrying about such petty matters. I have my health, a great family and amazing friends...so stop worrying, thinking, moaning, contemplating!

Quiet on the western front...

I have been pretty quiet recently...not due to the lack of drama in my life, trust me! Sometimes, I wish I could have a Dictaphone to hand to record my thoughts whilst all the drama is occurring as by the time it comes to writing it down, I am pretty shattered.

Anyway, lots going on. Always when you feel like some quiet reflective time; along comes a wave of drama - not that I am complaining as I love a bit of drama! It is like waiting for a bus; nothing for a while and then seven at once.

After all the recent goings on, I have learnt that whilst I used to be a little b****r, getting myself into mess left, right and centre or rather mess finding me...I am now able to learn from my mistakes and deal with stuff a whole load better. I am still far from perfect and no saint, but the little devil horns have been filed down at least!

This is cool and I like knowing that I have grown up in many ways, however, there seems such a long way to go in other areas. Is the learning journey to go on forever? I guess so...and in a way, I don't want it to end as I love learning about myself and others, but sometimes I wish I could get off at a stop, have a coffee, walk to the next one and then hop on again! Hey ho!